Luckily for me (in lots of ways) today is Mothering Sunday and so we at Number 15 have made the effort to slow down, take some time off from all those jobs that still need to be done, and spend the day together.
We have been walking in the woods, climbing trees,
paddling in the river, and exploring dens. We've cooked up coffee and hot chocolate on the Kelly Kettle (The Big Guy's best birthday present ever!) and I undertook a sock swap with The Big Guy to bring my frozen toes back to life (not an easy task in the middle of a forest in winter! Note to self - add "learn to knit woolly socks" to the list of things to do!)
It all sounds like a pretty blissful day doesn't it? And isn't that the beauty of an online place to share your life and thoughts - it offers you the opportunity to leave out the bits you'd rather not remember, the bits that you would rather other people didn't know; like the squabbles, the whiny child, the moment that you lose sight of child two in the forest and panic about the million things that may have befallen him!
On the approach to Mother's Day I have been thinking a lot about this motherhood malarkey and what it means to me, and more importantly to them.
In this new online age I find it increasingly difficult not to compare myself and my life to the lives of others as they are presented in the online world. The problem is that in those comparisons I constantly feel lacking, disappointing, and full of self-doubt about my achievements (and lack of them), my choices, and the life that I lead.
What I spent today trying to remember is that life is not perfect, I am not perfect, and my family are not perfect either, but that this is the life that I have chosen, the life that I love (including all of its imperfections) and that the quest for perfection would make me (and my family) very unhappy indeed.
Do any of you worry about these issues, what does motherhood/parenthood mean to you? I would love to hear your thoughts....
On other points I am rattling through "The Versions of Us" and I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts about it with you.
Speak soon, Sarah.xx